Graduation Read online

  GRADUATION

  A CHAOS STATION STORY

  Chapter One

  Earth, 2256

  Eyeing the trousers hanging over the back of the chair, Felix caught a fold of fabric between thumb and forefinger and rubbed experimentally. Soft, really soft. He could barely feel the embedded smart fiber that would prevent wear and tear. Edging his thumb toward the outside of the leg, he looked for a seam and discovered it was one of the turned in kind he couldn’t pick at. He’d have to do something else with his hands if he wore these trousers to the graduation party. No pockets, either. Who the fuck wore pants with no pockets?

  Zed would, and he’d look tall, dark and handsome. Next to him, Felix would look scrawny. And with his blond curls, wide hazel eyes, delicate nose and full mouth he would always look boyish. He could really use a good scar or something.

  The door to his quarters clicked softly. Clad only in a towel from a recent trip to the shower, Felix backed into the corner and assumed a defensive posture— arms raised, weight balanced on the balls of his feet. It was late in the day for a last minute prank, but he wouldn’t put it past someone to try. The door swished open and a familiar shadow slipped inside the room.

  Felix dropped his stance. “How the fuck did you hack the code? It took me twenty-four Standard hours to write that one.”

  Marnie held up her wallet and grinned. The holo playing above the fold flashed off her exotic features, lighting her dark eyes and making the line of her bangs more severe. “You based it on the same sequence you used for the janitorial closet in second year.”

  “I turned that code inside out.”

  “Not enough times.”

  “Damn it.”

  She reached up to ruffle his damp curls. “There, there. If you’d used an old fashioned padlock, I’d have been stumped.” Marnie couldn’t pick anything “dumb” to save her life. She was resourceful, though.

  Ducking out of her reach, Felix smacked a wall panel and reached inside his closet for underwear and socks. He dropped his towel and donned both while Marnie stared through him. He wasn’t offended by her lack of interest in his private parts. Girls didn’t do it for him and he didn’t do it for Marnie. She and Ryan had hooked up the year before and, by all measures, were set to be partnered for life. But he did recognize the blankness of her expression.

  “Stop thinking so hard,” he said. “You’ll short something in your perfect brain.”

  “How would you get around a padlock if you didn’t have any tools on hand?” she asked.

  “I’d go find some tools.”

  “Say you can’t, just for the sake of this exercise.” Marnie always did shit like this— asked him to think. Mostly, Felix enjoyed it.

  “I’d try force, first,” he said. “A kick to the mechanism. Then I’d go look for some tools.”

  “But what if— ”

  “We’re going to be late for the party if you keep what-ifing. What are you doing here, anyway?”

  She was already dressed in something long, flowy and purple. She looked good, if not exactly Marnie-like. He was used to seeing her in uniform.

  “I brought you something.” Marnie held up a shirt. More grey fabric, but less dark than the trousers, and sort of shiny. It looked like one of Zed’s shirts. All swank and soft and costly. Felix chewed on his lips, a habit he’d formed to give himself time to think before he blurted out the first words that came to mind.

  “I know gifts embarrass you, Flick”— his friends all called him by the same nickname his sister had given him when she was a toddler. Sometimes it made him self-conscious, but usually it made him feel as if he was with family— “but I also know how important tonight is and I wanted you to feel good about what you were wearing. Zed’s going to take one look— ”

  “I was thinking I’d just wear my uniform.” Felix was stupidly proud of the new ribbons on the breast pocket, even though he knew they would mean absolutely nothing after today. He’d no longer be a student who had excelled, despite humble beginnings— top of his class in five out of eight disciplines. He’d be a raw cadet on his way to specialist training.

  And he’d be alone.

  Marnie’s brows disappeared into her bangs. “What? No, you can’t do that. We’re all getting dressed up.”

  Felix reached into the closet for his uniform pants and pulled them on, buying some more time to think. “And I don’t think I’m going to say anything to Zed.”

  “Don’t make me kick your ass.”

  “What good will it do? This is the last time I’m going to see him for months. Maybe even years. Or ever.” Felix’s heart thumped up and down hard enough to bruise all attending parts. “Besides, he and Emma make a good couple.”

  “Zed isn’t in love with Emma.”

  “You don’t need to be in love with someone to…” Felix let the rest of his statement fizzle on his tongue. He knew Zed wasn’t in love with Emma, despite the fact they had everything in common, including a career path that would take them to specialist training together.

  “I swear, Felix.” He really did prefer Flick. “If you don’t tell Zed how you feel tonight, I’ll do it for you.”

  All of his blood rushed to his socked feet. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Don’t try me.”

  “Marnie…”

  “And no whining, it doesn’t suit you.”

  Irritated, Felix reached for his shirt.

  Marnie yanked it from his hands. “It will be too late tomorrow. Do you really want to go through life with that what-if unanswered?”

  “He’s my best friend. That’s enough.”

  Cuddling both his uniform shirt and the new one to her chest, she shook her head. “No, it’s not. I can see it in your face every time you look at him.”

  “Fuck.”

  “He feels the same way. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching.” She probably considered all this covert watching good practice for a career in Mil-Int. “I don’t think he’s figured out what it all means, but you men never know what to do with your feelings. That’s why you have us.”

  Marnie had been the one to approach Ryan. It had been obvious since first year he was completely and irretrievably smitten, though. She said she’d only waited as long as she had because their schooling was important. Secretly, Felix thought she was more cautious than she let on, which was why this push to get him to confess his heart to his best friend of nearly ten years confused the hell out of him. Because if it went wrong, he could lose Zed. What if Zed didn’t like guys? What if Felix wanting to kiss him made everything weird? Smaller things could destroy a friendship.

  “Just tell him, okay? Yes, this might be the last time you’re going to see him for a year or more. But love is patient, and if it’s meant to be between you guys, then it will be— wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. Wouldn’t you be happier boarding that shuttle tomorrow knowing he’s in your heart?”

  No, because he’d had Zed in his heart for near on six years already and it wasn’t enough.

  “I’m not giving you a shirt until you promise you’ll say something.”

  “I hate you.”

  “No you don’t.”

  Hauling in a breath, Felix held it until his head spun lightly and the edges of his vision darkened. Then he let it out. “Fine, I’ll say something.”

  “And you’ll wear something other than your uniform tonight?”

  “I’ll wear the fancy-ass pants and shirt.” He breathed in and out again, more quickly, and began unfastening his uniform pants. When Marnie didn’t move, he said, “Thank you?”

  She leaned into the closet to hang his plain, safe uniform shirt away. “You’re welcome.” The side of her face was just visible, and the fact
her lips fought a smile.

  “You sure Mom’s not upset about me wanting to go out tonight?” Zed turned his attention from his closet to his oldest brother, Brennan, who had settled back into the cheap, student-quarters couch tucked against the wall of his dorm room. At twenty-five, Brennan looked every inch the young corporate executive, in his well-tailored suit and perfectly groomed hair. Zed grinned at Brennan’s slight grimace— he could probably feel the sofa’s springs digging into his butt, which was why Zed didn’t sit there often— then looked back into his closet for just the right shirt.

  “Did she tell you it wasn’t a problem?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then it’s not a problem,” Brennan said. “Someone’s feeling guilty.”

  Zed rolled his eyes and pulled out a deep blue shirt with a silvery sheen. Yeah, this would do. “I know she originally wanted to have dinner— ”

  Brennan chuckled. “Zed, relax. She knows this is going to be the last night with your friends for a while. Us, you’ll come visit on leave, right? But everyone else…”

  Everyone else would be scattered out among the stars, at training and then on their first assignments. It hit him hard at that moment that tonight was it. This was the last time they’d all be together at once. He’d have Emma with him, and she was awesome— a great friend who posed a great challenge, marks-wise— but her presence wouldn’t quite make up for leaving his other friends behind.

  Leaving Flick behind.

  Don’t think about that.

  “Scary, huh?”

  Zed looked up from the shirt clutched in his hands to see Brennan looking at him with a sort-of sad, sort-of proud expression. From somewhere, Zed summoned a weak chuckle. “Yeah.”

  “I can’t even imagine.” His low tone, the understanding in Brennan’s words, they all illustrated that his oldest brother got it, even if he hadn’t lived the same thing himself. “You know, there have been days I’ve wished you would change your mind and come work for Dad.”

  That was an old… well, not argument, really, but a discussion he’d had more than once with both his parents and his brother. “Bren— ”

  “And then you go and graduate, second in your class, standing up on stage looking just… fucking amazing in your uniform, with Mom crying and Dad just about ready to burst, he’s so proud, and I realize… that’s you. You were never meant to sit behind an Anatolius Industries desk and you knew that, ever since you were a kid.” He shook his head, but it was a gesture of amazement, not denial. “You’re probably more certain of your place in the galaxy than Maddox and I will ever be.”

  Zed swallowed hard, concentrating on conquering the lump in his throat and not breaking down, thank you very much. He didn’t want to head to dinner with red, puffy eyes. “So you came here to make me embarrass myself, huh?”

  Brennan snorted. “No, that’s just an added bonus.” Shifting on the couch, he pulled out his wallet and fiddled with the holographic interface. “There.”

  Zed’s wallet beeped and he retrieved it from where he’d placed it on the bed as he got changed. “What’d you send— oh, damn, Brennan.” He stared at the interface, his chest tight.

  His brother had forwarded him a message from the administration of Shepard Academy, thanking the Anatolius family for their contribution and confirming that a permanent full scholarship would be implemented for disadvantaged kids— like Flick— who’d never see inside the doors of the school otherwise. Zed had always suspected Flick’s scholarship hadn’t been official— not that his father would ever admit to paying Flick’s tuition. He knew how Flick would react to that news.

  “Dad’s real proud of him, too, you know,” Brennan said quietly.

  “Yeah, I know.” God, his jaw ached from all these stupid emotions. “Look, you can’t name it after him though, okay? He’ll lose his shit.”

  “But— ”

  “Trust me. If he sees this, he’s going to know that the scholarship he won was bogus, and that will just piss him off.”

  Brennan chuckled. “That sounds like Flick.”

  Zed nodded. “Tell Dad— tell him thanks.”

  “Tell him yourself tomorrow. We’re still on for breakfast, right?” Brennan levered himself up from the uncomfortable sofa and straightened his clothes. “You need to give Mom a last opportunity to hug and kiss and be mushy.”

  “I know. And yes, I wouldn’t miss it. Now will you go and let me get dressed?”

  Brennan strode over to Zed and slung an arm around his neck, pulling him in tight. “Have fun tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  “Damn it, Bren, that means I’ll be home by nine.”

  Brennan flicked his fingers against Zed’s forehead. “Asshole.”

  Zed turned and grabbed his brother in a bear hug. “Love you.”

  Brennan made a tsking noise. “Save the mush for tomorrow.”

  Chapter Two

  Dinner was on Zed. He didn’t wave around the size of his wallet often, but for tonight, for the best friends he would probably ever have, he would. Also, he knew if he didn’t, Flick would probably order the cheapest bowl of soup on the menu and the guy needed to eat. He’d never quite bested the habit of making do with the least amount possible.

  As Zed watched Flick inhale the giant bowl of fruit he’d ordered him as a surprise dessert, a thread of worry wound through his chest. Up until now, there’d been pain at the thought of leaving Flick— an impending sense of loss. But would Flick remember to eat something more than a protein bar if Zed wasn’t around to remind him? Would there be anyone to shove him toward his bunk instead of letting him stay up too late to tinker on his latest project?

  Maybe Flick would find a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Zed frowned. That was something they’d never really talked about. Was it weird, that they never had? Usually their chats focused on the two of them, their plans, their thoughts, their in-jokes, their latest projects. He’d thought about telling Flick about his time with Dawna— losing his virginity was a big deal, right?— but it had never felt like a good thing to do. Not that Flick didn’t know about it— fuck, by a day later, everyone knew Dawna had seduced him, because apparently she had no problems talking about it. But Zed kept the details to himself.

  It would’ve been a good time to ask Flick about his thoughts on that. Sex. But… he hadn’t. For some reason, he just… hadn’t.

  Coward.

  “Zed, I can hear your brain working from over here.”

  Zed blinked and looked across the table at Marnie, cuddled up next to Ryan. She wore a happy, slightly dopey smile— probably thanks to the amber-colored aperitif in her hands.

  “What’re you thinking about, man?” Ryan prompted.

  “Stuff.” Zed nudged his specialty coffee with his fingers, making the handle of the cup turn. “You know.”

  Marnie made a disgusted noise. “We’re not going to wallow. Not tonight.”

  Emma nodded. “She’s right. Tonight is about celebrating the last six years. Celebrating us.” She raised her glass. “To us.”

  Glasses clinked together, but Zed didn’t miss the fact Flick said nothing. He was being quiet tonight— not uncharacteristically so, because Flick could brood with the best of them. Just… a lot more subdued than usual.

  Zed draped an arm over Flick’s shoulders and tugged him closer. “You okay?”

  “Sure.” With a bit of squirming, Flick retrieved his wallet and set it on the table. A couple of key selections on the holographic interface brought up a holo-recorder.

  “Uh oh, Flick’s collecting evidence.”

  “Shut up, Ryan,” Flick grumbled, though Zed could hear the slight smile in his voice. “I just… keep talking, all right? I want to be able to remember your voices and… shit.”

  Emma practically melted— so not her, but Zed blamed the booze that had been flowing through dinner. “That’s so sweet, Felix.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “He’s your bestie, Zed,” Marnie said. “Did you k
now he had a secret sweetness streak?”

  Zed hugged Flick a little closer. God, he was going to miss this. “I suspected.”

  “You did not.” Flick elbowed him in the ribs, not hard. “Asshole.”

  “Aw, but you love me.” Zed tugged at Flick again when he stiffened against him and slouched in the booth, grinning at his friends. “Okay, let’s tell some tales for Flick’s holo. Remember the time Marnie promised us we weren’t going to get caught putting itching powder in Neal the Asshole’s underwear?”

  Marnie shook her head. “Hey, that wasn’t my fault!”

  Zed sipped at his coffee as the table degenerated into shared memories and laughter as they relived the best moments of their time at Shepard Academy. Flick was warm, solid, secure at his side, and… damn, he was going to miss this.

  “Come dance with us!” Marnie tugged on Felix’s hand, pulling him toward the cacophony of light and sound pulsing through the middle of the club.

  Shaking his hand loose, Felix waved her off. “Maybe in a bit. When I find my feet.”

  Judging by the shape of Marnie’s lips, she’d scoffed. It was hard to hear anything in the din. “You’ve got five minutes!” Turning, she disappeared into the throng with Ryan.

  Holographic images swirled across the dancefloor, weaving streamers and ethereal forms between the writhing bodies of the dancers. Even without four shots of whatever he’d been drinking burning a path from his sinuses to his gut, Felix would have had difficulty telling fantasy from reality. The squawk and grind of the music buzzing between his temples didn’t help. He continued to stare into the crowd, though, hoping for a glimpse of Zed.

  There he was. Despite his height and bulk, Zed moved like quicksilver. Felix loved to watch him dance. It was as if the music moved inside Zed. Or something like that. Emma danced with him and she put on a good show too, alternately flirting with Zed and the guy behind her, hips rocking forward and back to keep both guys involved. She had one arm curled around Zed’s shoulders and the other flung behind her to tease the other guy’s hair.